


Don't Die Wondering

by naotalba



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-04
Updated: 2007-04-04
Packaged: 2018-07-10 18:24:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6999487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naotalba/pseuds/naotalba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the way back from Port Royal, a conversation in the brig of the Dauntless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Die Wondering

**Author's Note:**

> I am archiving my old LJ fic. This was written as two parts- the original and then a timestamp request later that doubled the fic- but I thought it made more sense to just put them together.

"Now Will, lad, they're going to hang us once we make port. Are you sure you want to die a virgin?"

"Jack, I'm not really a eunuch, you know."

"I didn't say that, just that you haven't had a chance to appreciate the having of them, and having of others made possible that the having of them implies."

"I've had that pleasure, actually."

"Had whose pleasure?"

"Well, most of the serving maids at the local tavern, of course. My master's wife passed away shortly after I apprenticed with him, so we ate in the tavern every night. The service there is quite pleasant."

"But with a man . . ."

"Port Royal has quite a lot of seamen. And you know what they say about sailors."

"So you've . . "

"Yes."

"Who?"

"You know the lieutenant, the prissy one?"

"Groves?"

"Oh, yes, him too. But I was talking about Gillette."

"Both?"

"They're inseparable."

"I thought Norrington was shagging the prissy one."

"Yes, surely, once I was done with him."

"Norrington knew you were shagging his lieutenant?"

"No, I meant when I was done shagging Norrington."

"Oh. Will?"

"Yes?"

"I don't want to die a virgin."

___

"Jack, you've really never done this?"

“That’s not to say never, as never is a very limiting term. I have, in fact, done this before – just not from this angle, as it were.”

“You’ve never been on bottom?”

“On bottom, yes, many a fine ride a lad or lass has taken on my most impressive prick. I’ve just never, well that is to say-“

“You’ve never been buggered.”

“No.”

“Whyever not?”

“I am the Captain, son. No one would dare.”

“Well, I’ve been told I’m quite daring. Take your breeches off and bend over, if you would.”

“William my lad, perhaps on further reflection this is not an act I need to experience prior to my untimely and, I might add, tragic forthcoming demise. I think instead we might – oh- yes, like that – look to see whether – right there, again, that’s a lad – there is another way we could –oh, WILL!”


End file.
